Never Settle

It’s not good for you. *disregard if you’re a happy settler*

It will breed resentment in you haven’t seen or experienced ever in your life. You will begin to resent not making the best decisions possible for the longevity of yourself.

And I’m not just talking about romantic relationships. To me that is just the tip of the iceberg. People settle every single day. They settle in the job they don’t love. They settle with their bad habits. They settle when it comes to people they surround themselves with and the environments they choose to be in.

Settling breeds resentment. Resentment comes from not making the best possible decision that aligns with what you want at your core. Every single day you deprive yourself of what you really want, you plant the seed of resentment. You start to hate yourself for staying in places you don’t belong. This happened to me when I was working in the restaurant industry. I absolutely positively knew that THAT was not where or who I wanted to be for the rest of life. So I fought hard to change my life. And I did. Twice.

Before I pivoted, I started to dislike myself for staying somewhere I didn’t feel challenged or pushed to grow and elevate. I started to hate myself for not being on track to the life I live today. Isn’t that funny? It’s like I knew exactly where I was heading and I was scolding myself for dragging my feet on the way there. Had I known then what I know now, I would have moved a lot more intentionally. But I love that part of life, it’s where the real living and learning happens… in the lessons.

The lessons I learned back then, are the foundation for the lessons I’m learning now. I constantly audit myself to make sure that whatever and whoever I’m giving my time to is in alignment with who I am and where I’m going in life. It’s 2026 now, in 2016, I made a promise to myself to turn it all the way around and elevate to exactly where I am now. I actually exceeded all expectations and goals. I didn’t settle with a job I hated that just barely paid the bills. I knew I could have an exciting career. And now I’m on my SECOND exciting career. IT IS VERY POSSIBLE. I wanted better than my old crappy apartment that was built in the 60’s. I bought a house that was built in a year I can clearly remember. I wasn’t happy with the people that I was surrounded by. And that wasn’t their fault or a flaw of theirs. We just weren’t in alignment. And I felt that I couldn’t be deep or intense and peel back the onion layers with them. The friends I have now are a dream.

You have to create the sanctuary that you seek. Do whatever it takes to get there. Go to therapy, get your money up and then keep going, always be learning, and never take the 1st offer.

A lot of people are foreign to adversity. They never had to struggle on the way to a goal. And there is nothing wrong with that. But that is a life built by someone who actually faced adversity. Trust me. People who want more out of life know the ramifications of settling. They know the sacrifice they make today by saying “that’s good enough” instead of “MORE”.

I could have settled into my restaurant management job. But I know I would be MISERABLE. I knew it back then and I know it now. It’s why I devised the plan I did and worked as hard as I did for as long as I did. I knew working 2 jobs in my 20’s with not a lot of fun would allow me to build the foundation I needed to live the life I currently do. I knew that my skills were going to waste running a restaurant. It was honest work but it wasn’t me. I’m a super brainiac. Somewhat of a savant if you sit and talk to me. I’m like Rainman when it comes to the things I know and dabble in. And I was ABSOLUTELY CORRECT. Instead of settling, I became an electrician and got into the film industry and worked on multiple box office hits. But that wasn’t my endgame. And I was comfortable. I know being comfortable means I’m not growing. So instead of settling and chilling… again I challenged myself. And fucked around and got hired in the FAANG/Mag 7 space. Now they let me loose in the lab managing hundreds of millions to billions of dollars of infrastructure and data because they know what I am. Imagine if I settled. I’d still be running the closing shift of a restaurant watching servers roll silverware and trying to get the cooks to stop taking so many smoke breaks. I manage more money in infrastructure in a day at my current job than that restaurant made in its best year when Atlanta last hosted the Superbowl. Imagine that.

It’s hard to explain it but I could almost see my future and was extremely irritated and agitated with myself for dragging my feet on the way. Now that I am where I am in life, I know settling is probably the worst thing you can do for yourself. As humans, we are meant to be challenged. We are supposed to grow. Situations that stifle this go against what we are at our core. Our brains are beautiful muscles that are meant to run like a Kentucky Derby stallion. If you know anything about the Derby, you know that if they aren’t running and producing, they off them (very sad, yes I know). But I use that analogy to show you, you are basically taking yourself out back like Old Yeller or a prized stallion that can’t compete anymore by leaving yourself in a situation you don’t want to be in.

Somewhere along the way, you lost your spark or drive to hustle and grind and PUSH. Go get that back. Whatever you have to do, GO GET THAT BACK. That spark is the ignition you need to unlock all of those dreams you have. TRUST ME. I was miserable before.. Now I feel fulfilled. Thanks for coming to my TaraTALK.